I woke-up to three distinct waves of pain, one after another but equidistant from the one proceeding and following. "Does that hurt?" asked the faceless form.
"Yeah. That just hurt really bad."
"That's just everything getting situated."
I woke-up again to Teresa, my, first of many, nurses, asking if I wanted some ice-water. The water was so cold it burned as I drew it into my body.
I lost days in there.
What was supposed to be a simple hernia surgery with a three-day (at worst) hospital stay, turned into a nine day fiasco. I spent a considerable amount of time pre-surgery pro/coning a post about what I was going to undergo, but it was a hernia surgery, my fourth hernia surgery to be more accurate. I have friends that are dealing with real shit, Cancer...deaths in the family.... I didn't want anyone worrying about me for no reason. Sure they were using a new technique, but I am superman. I never even took post-surgery pain medication. Despite the warnings about this procedure, I was gonna be different. I was gonna show the surgeon that I could tough it out.
I first realized I was not Superman on Tuesday, February 21st. After getting myself up to do a little sink shower and then sit in the chair. My nurse found me grey and clammy, having sweat through my hospital gown, essentially passed out on the chair, and I learned a new word: tachycardia. I'll let you look it up. After the death finally made its way completely out of my lungs, I resolved that issue, and then it was on the the stomach. Was it going to work post surgery?
In true Ketzer fashion, when it did decide to work again (pretty sure this was late Wednesday; again, I lost days in there), it wanted to show everyone how efficient it was...what a masterpiece of production. Doctors, as I have learned, do not appreciate efficiency, so they wanted to see it work normally. By Saturday things were functioning close enough to a version of normal that Sunday was destine to be my freedom sacrifice; fitting really.
Sadly, my body was at it again, this time showing just how productive it could be with its white blood cells. I have no fever, no new pain, no redness, nothing detected by X-Ray or CT, that was abnormal, but I did just spend three additional days listening to the hums and beeps of a hospital while slowly losing pieces of my mind all because my number of white cells wasn't inline with what is acceptable. They still aren't, but they are, a bit, lower.
For those that noted I have been M.I.A. from almost all Social Media, this is why. I was in such a funk that I just couldn't bring myself to connect. I had to disassociate myself as to remove the experience from my reality.
To those that forced connections over the last few days, I love you all.