I think that pretty much sums up the last couple of months for me and provides an explanation of why I have neglected you. As you know my band, So Much Closer, went down to Denton, TX to do some recording and play a few shows. We were able to capture 9 tunes at the Echo Lab and are now in post production: final mixes, mastering, CD art, researching duplication, etc. Just when I thought things would settle down a bit from all the focus on making the trip happen, things just got busier.
Still, on today, off all days, I thought it was important to write. Those that know me know I was raised by my mom, and as a result I am, well, a momma's boy. I do not see this as a negative. I embrace it, that sensitive heart on sleeve mentality is what made me who I am, is responsible for the eyes that see the world in a way that allows me to paint pictures in words. Although the skill set may have come from my father who is a poet, the eyes are all my mother's. Mom, if you are reading, sincerely, thank you for everything, and Happy Mother's Day.
You know, I have been very fortunate to surround myself with extremely inspiring people. I know writers, photographers, dancers, musicians, painters, heck one of my newest friends even makes quilts. I think creativity attracts creativity. Well, one of my old friends, high-school friends, Karen, recently started a new blog called The Absinthe Road. This blog is dedicated to forcing creation, and for your poem today, I took the bait. What is interesting about this method of writing, forced subject writing, is it often reveals things that I am not conscious of. Although I call myself a momma's boy and try to embrace sensitivity, the reality is he had his ass kicked by life and love and divorce and unfulfilled desires and lack of vindication and.... It is just so incredibly hard to chase a dream your entire life and never catch it. Inevitably, over the years, I have hardened.
Unhook the Stars
I remember when I lived heart on edge
Like infant taking bath for first time
As mothers and mother’s mothers smiled
Whispered words of comfort to calm frightened cries
Now heart is locked away
Deep beneath battle scars from wars lost
The stars it once danced with at midnight
Trapped and tangled
Heavy heart’s gravitational pull
Creating black hole of sadness and solitude
I want to unhook the stars
Release them to join midnight moon
Sparkling down upon bare chest in movement
No longer afraid
No longer red faced and crying
Once again alive
Now, I don't want you to think I am depressed or anything, I am not. I didn't even realize I was feeling these things until I put pen to paper. It is therapy. But I do miss him, the momma's boy.
Before I get out of here, I would be remiss if I did not mention our Pledge Music efforts. For those that do not know making a CD is really expensive. Having done 3 solo, 2 with EKe, and 1 with Whiskey Daydream, I can tell you every time it causes debt. I moved into my house in 2001, and I have wanted to replace the carpet every year I have lived here, and every year I push it back because I am paying off a CD. This time we are trying to be smart about it. Rather than pawn guitars, sell amps, and load up the credit card, we are offering all of our supporters an opportunity to help us. There are several levels you can donate at from $10, which gets you access to all the exclusive content we are posting on the Pledge site (videos, rough mixes of songs, etc.) and a digital download of the CD when it is done, to $600 which gets access to exclusive content, a signed copy of the CD when it is done AND a fully electric house concert anywhere in the continental US. Yes, we will actually drive to your house and put on a show for you and as many people as you want to invite...wedding, graduation party, reception of some sort...whatever the event, we'll play it for $600. We actually have a song that we have left untitled, and we will let you name it for $300. Seriously, there are a lot of opportunities to fit every budget. Please take a moment to check out our pledge site.
That is all I have for now. I sincerely hope all the Mother's are feeling appreciated and loved because you are!