Numbness and the Act of Reciprocation

There is a numbness that follows a CD release. After months of continuous work, driving, pushing, progressing this creation, you stand on stage with hands held out offering the gift to an audience that is grateful to receive it, only to realize that once you leave the stage you are in the same place you were months ago, in this case 5 months ago. I assume it is similar to a convict chipping away at cinderblock walls with handmade fork axes and spoon shovels. When you finally break through, you are confronted with the disconcerting reality that that was just an inner wall, beyond the six inch gap is another, thicker, wall reinforced with rebar.

In the past this feeling has lasted for weeks, but not this time. Tuesday, as I had settled into day 3 of Numbfest 2010, I received the best e-mail ever. Laura from Playback:STL had a cancelation for the annual Play:STL music festival, and she wanted to know if we could fill it. I believe my “Yes” reply took 37 seconds.

We submitted to play the Festival and were originally rejected. This is something I seriously struggle with, much like the recent review our CD got from the Riverfront Times. Apparently, whatever these panels and critics want, I am not giving them, but the real struggle comes when I check out bands that were selected and, to my ears, they aren’t doing anything that dramatically different or better or more interesting. It leaves me feeling confused and frustrated. I would LOVE to be a media darling, love for them to get it, to love what I am doing like I do, but in the 12 years I have been chasing this dream that has not been the case. Various projects have had a smattering of positive press, but no one has ever championed my bands or my solo efforts. The closest I came to that was with a review by Laura of Playback:STL for my 2nd CD Lost Angel.

I was grateful for that review, and I was grateful for the opportunity to fill a vacant spot for this festival. To show my appreciation, I reciprocated and made as much noise as I could about the festival. There was a steady stream of Tweets coming from me and the band feed. Really the entire band reciprocated. There wasn’t a night where one of us wasn’t participating, and on most evenings of the 4 day festival (3 days with a kickoff party) there were at least 3 of us showing our support. Mind you, we are all still putting in 40 + hours a week at our 9 to 5s, but we are rockstars, we can party until 1 and be to work by 7. When it came time to play our set, we played like we were the headliners. We gave every bit we had, made sure to pick an appropriate set length, and stripped the stage quickly to ensure we did not eat up the next band’s time. We rocked it like the pros we are.

Our friend Irene was there to watch us throw down, and she took some great shots.

¾ of So Much Closer



Ghosts of Midnight you take me down…



PE doing his closed eyes thing…



Two Tweeds and some Fiji...



Swan feeling it…



Now, where I may fail with critics and panel participants, I do extremely well with club owners. The Booking Agent from Market Pub House was eager to get our contact information to schedule a repeat performance. He shoots…he scores. Ultimately, as much as I want to be adored by Music Critics what is most important to me is remaining authentic.

I don't work for anybody but the muse -- Neil Young

This act of reciprocation is something very important to me. It is something I have practiced since I started performing. Musical communities are built on this concept. If you are in a band and have an off night, go see the bands that you dig. In turn, hopefully, they will do the same for you. If a venue is supporting you, support it. Get people to go there, spend time up there yourself. Recently we have played a few shows with Rhum Boogie, and they get this concept. When they had a show at 2720, we were there. When we had our CD release, they were there. There were even members of the Boogie at our Play:STL set, mutual respect turned to friendship and we ended up kickin’ it with Ryan all night long. So, when it came time for us to book a show for 2720, what was the first band I contacted, Rhum Boogie. So, put October 8th on your calendar because it is going to be A…wait for it…MAZING!!!

Bad Blogger Turns Good...

I have been a bad Blogger. Can I even say I am a Blogger, if I have not blogged since July? I have just been overwhelmed. Between work, playing shows, and preparing for the CD release it seems that my motivation to do anything else is nonexistent. Right now I should probably be sending follow-up e-mails to all the media outlets that we sent the CD to, but I just need to take a step back, breathe, reconnect and give y'all a little recap.

Between July and now, we played some shows, of course. More importantly we met a super cool band, Rhum Boogie, a band that we genuinely respect and appreciate.

Throughout my career, I have always had “go to bands,” bands that you reach out to when trying to put a show together, bands that you go see when you do not have a show, bands that reciprocate and come see you. It has been harder with So Much Closer because we are not as niched. With early EKe it was Dark Water. Later versions of EKe were often paired with the Big Thumb or Madahoochi. But that was easy, we were “labeled” as a Jam Band, so we played with Jam Bands. The same was true for Whiskey Daydream, we were definitively Alt-Country/Americana, and as a result we played with bands like the Fishpaws, the Gaslights, and Backyard Tire Fire.

With So Much Closer, I do not think people know where we fit. Heck, we don’t know where we fit. I mean it is a culmination of all our experiences, so there are elements of Jam, Alt-Country…Patrick Swan was in a popular Indie band, Circus Window, so that shows up. Patrick Enright is Math Rock influenced, as a result there is a headiness to the Rhythm section, and Chris Logan is totally driven by the melodic groove, so no matter how down-tempo and sparse a song may be, there is always a solid drive, a solid groove. Rhum Boogie is very similar in that they are drawing from an amalgam of influences. On their Facebook page they list: Reggae, Rock, Proggresive. We list: Indie, Groove, Rock. So while we are not identical bands, we share an understanding of musical exploration and creation that somehow seems to make shows work together. We have played twice already and we are thinking of big things to come.

As you will hopefully remember, partial funding of our CD was done through our Pledge Music Campaign. Pledgers received some form of reward for donating to the cause, could be name in the CD, signed CDs, etc. ALL, Pledgers got early releases of the disc. We have received some really great feedback from the Pledgers. While most would focus on feedback from Media, I wanted to share feedback from my Dad. I mean he has EVERYTHING I have ever recorded, every solo CD, EKe, Whiskey Daydream, spoken word...everything. Over two e-mails, here is what he had to say.

1st E-mail

Hi Eric,

Well, I finished working on my truck, so I was able to listen to your CD at least four times. I think it's the best thing you've ever done. Of course, I always say that, but it's true as you keep getting better. It was just very well done and professional (professional in its positive sense). All the songs were good, so it's hard to pick a favorite. I did like the Tiger and Daisy, though, and the duet. That was one soulful chick. Lyrics were good, subtle for the most part. The CD art was most professional looking...Vicki commented on that, as well. I hope it's getting some air time and lands you and the band some larger, money making gigs. Congrats!

Love, Dad

2nd E-mail

Yep, good CD. I don't see how you can sing a song like "Scared of Your Love" that's so emotional and pretty. I'd get all choked up, wouldn't be able to get through it. That transition to Taps was really cool. I've never heard anything like that before on an album. I missed it the first time. I thought the CD was over. I should have known, as you have a habit of sneaking things in at the end. The last few times I listened I really cranked it up and it worked much better. Kind of like Lesile West and his, "Made loud to be played loud." And I really liked the 1-2-3-4 that preceded it, or is part of it, but then I always enjoyed that hard driving stuff.

Rather than dropping a new poem, I wanted to focus on a song from the CD, “Scared of Your Love.” My dad referenced it, my mom and sister have been telling me it is the best song I have written since they heard me play it acoustic a couple Christmases ago, and through the beauty of Twitter we learned:


To satisfy everyone, I have created a Soundclick page and will be adding a new song from the CD everyday leading up to our release this Friday, September 10th. "Scared of Your Love" was recorded as a duet with my friend Tiffany Belle whom I was in choir with in Palm Desert, CA--Kick Aztec!--but is currently living in Denton where we recorded.

Now playing: So Much Closer

I also wanted to share the lyrics with you. Lyrically, I do think it is some of the strongest stuff I have written.

Scared of Your Love

Verse 1
I’m scared of your love; diamond eye shine when I walk in to the room
I’m scared of your love; your smiles like a gift only give to me
I’m scared of your love; the words you whisper when we turn the lights down low
I’m scared of your love; you make the storm stop bring me calm midnight

Verse 2
I’m scared of your love; and the me I am when I am wrapped around you
I’m scared of your love; the way I quiver when I open up your smile
I’m scared of your love; the short breathes that only you can bring me
I’m scared of your love; the calm of night when everything’s alright

Chorus
Powerful fears
The one who’d been burned
So many tears
Oh and lessons learned
But I’ll keep tryin’
I’ll keep tryin’ for you baby

Verse 3
I’m scared of your love; you’re gonna leave me empty room and all that white noise
I’m scared of your love; the sense of solitude when we lie in the same bed
I’m scared of your love; silent conversations between disappointed eyes
I’m scared of your love; visions of you crying good-bye to me


Chorus
Powerful fears
The one who’d been burned
So many tears
Oh and lessons learned
But I’ll keep tryin’
I’ll keep tryin’ for you baby

Hope you are enjoying what you are hearing, we'd love any feedback you care to share on the tunes, and would really like to see you all at the CD release party this Friday: